Change of Plans

Football season is over, and I have a husband again!! Yay!

I haven’t updated in quite awhile, and for that I apologize. Part of the reason is that I am really struggling lately to find positive things to say. I would hate to get on this blog and just complain, so I’ve opted for silence. I am HOMESICK. I miss Fort Worth, I miss my family, and most of all I miss my old job. I was walking to my car today, not quite completely broken down after another day in kindergarten, thanking God that my day was over, and I sadly realized that this used to be my favorite part of the day.

When I worked at Castleberry, walking to my car I always felt tired in a pleasant way, proud of what I’d done that day, and looking forward to what I had planned for the next day. There were frustrations that I remember vividly, just so you don’t think I’m romanticizing, but I loved virtually everything about that job. Were there kids that drove me nuts? Absolutely. Did my coworkers annoy me sometimes? You know who you are…But even with the frustrations, I had no plan to go anywhere. I liked what I taught and who I worked with.

Now I cannot say the same thing. My kids are sweet, and they are learning. They really are lovable, and despite my feelings about being here, I will remember them forever. But I am bored to tears in kindergarten. And I’m pretty sure that the majority of my students only understand about 3 of every 5 words I say. And my coworkers are nice enough for the most part, but this is a small town and everyone has known each other for 30 years. Also, I am the only new teacher on the campus and everyone else just magically knows how things are done, and so people just forget to mention that certain things need to be done. So people are forever showing up in my classroom asking if I have X,Y, or Z ready, and that will be the first time I’ve ever heard of it. It makes me feel completely ineffective and unorganized, even though it is not my fault. And there are other SERIOUS problems that make me hate my job. Everything I do is wrong. Wray was extremely romantic and upset for me. But as I saw in a movie recently, the internet is written in ink, so if you want to hear about those, message me on Facebook.

Everyone was supposed to come to our house for Thanksgiving. Then about a week ago (coincidentally, when my serious problems started at work), Wray started to say to me, “We can go home to Fort Worth for Thanksgiving if you want.” I told him, no it was fine, we would stick to the plan. But he kept saying it, so I finally got the hint that maybe he was homesick too. So I finally just asked him if he just wanted to come home, and he said yes. Since we have changed plans and decided to come home, we are both much happier. Nothing has changed except that we have something to look forward to.

Gavin is also homesick, but we are trying to keep our attitudes positive for him (also, because this is a really small town, and he has met some of my coworkers on multiple occasions. All I need is for him to ask certain people why they hate his mommy. He is enjoying school immensely, even with his new glasses. He got glasses a few weeks ago, and I was so proud because he took the eye test with the letters (my kindergarteners, some of whom are 2 year older than Gavin, took the E test today). He got his glasses and he looks adorable, but hates wearing them. He is doing well academically, even though he is in a combined pre-k and kindergarten class and he is the youngest student in the class. His teacher tells me that he tries to listen to everything the kindergarten kids are doing. He is reading easier words and counting and adding up a storm. As I said, he is homesick too. The other night he had a nightmare that we never went back to Nana and Papa’s house. He apologized for having the bad dream, so I tried to explain to him it wasn’t his fault, that his brain was just afraid of that so he dreamed it. His definition of subconscious? “Maybe it’s the Devil laughing at me.” Love it. He was Wolverine and Johnny Cash for Halloween this year, the latter was decidedly more popular among the crowd, but Gavin enjoyed being Wolverine more.

Our church family here has been a bright spot. We are currently in the process of a preacher search. I really liked the candidate that preached Sunday. Our elders and their wives have been looking out for our family, and Gavin asks literally every night, “Do we get to go to church tonight?” So even when I get down and don’t want to go, Gavin keeps me honest. Things are improving, and hopefully, we won’t be here too much longer. We are both planning on starting the job search after Christmas. So if you hear about anyone needing a coach/ Social Studies teacher, or ANY kind of teacher K-8 (I’m taking the 4-8 generalist later in the schoolyear), let us know.

Keep the Grier family in your prayers.

Only 10 more school days until Thanksgiving break!